Love Wins

Okay, so I wanted this post to be separate from the last one, just because it is a more serious thing.

Another thing that happened this week was a petition came to my school, to amend the constitution to state that marriage is between a man and a woman, only. And of course, myself and my closest friends were very upset, since we are either best friends with or a gay individual. 

We jumped into action Monday night and created what we called "The Love Petition," just stating that we are all sinners, and we can all come to each other, as Christians, with humilty and love, rather than judgement and condemnation.  It was very intense and emotional Monday and Tuesday.  People had very strong feelings on both fronts.  But we created a facebook group for our petition and we got over 100 people to join on Tuesday alone. And we got so many signatures, but of course we got our share of ridicule.  That is to be expected from a Christian campus though, and we knew it, but it went to far in some ways.  The biggest way was, after coming out and claiming to be a gay Christian to everyone on the Love Petition's facebook, one of my good friends Evan got targeted in an extremely hateful way: someone created a fake twitter and began tweeting vulgar and rude things to the #onuchapel thread.  Things about him being gay, and loving to "suck.... etc" I dont really need to say what it said because you can guess what an immature bigot would come up with to say. 
Also, someone made a fake facebook of my brother, but that one did not go very far, since whoever it was only posted one comment.  

Tuesday night I was so upset with all the hate that was going on online, I just got to thinking about religion and everything the petition people were saying and what we were saying, and how I didn't know and would never know what was the Truth.  So of course, with so much emotion coursing through me already, I broke down and began Freaking OUT.  Brock came home and talked to me and made me feel better by telling me a quote he heard in a book that faced the issue I was worrying about (my damnation for not getting it right on earth) that said, "How can we have faith in a God that would damn us to hell for eternity, just for being confused?" And that brought me so much peace because that is what my philosophy has been for so long: just love.  I don't know what God is thinking, I dont know what is right and wrong in a theological way, but I do know that love never hurts and I'm just going to love people in the best way I can, and hope that that is enough.  I cannot have faith in a God that would not excuse me for not assuming I know what he is thinking, but I can have faith in a God that loves me and just wants me to love others.  

So I guess that's where i am right now. Just loving my friends and leaving the judgement to God.

TGIF Motherfuckers!

What it is, what it do?

As usual, so much has happened since I last blogged.

1. I am done with Physical Therapy, for the time being at least.  Since the pain in my foot is still there, Dr. Puri decided I didn't need to be there anymore, which I am okay with, just because it was such a commitment. I saw Dr. Puri this past Monday the 26th.

2. I got both of my feet casted to make inserts for my shoes to help my arches.  It was a funny process where he put a giant plastic baggie on my foot and then it was like a sock, made out of a material (the name escapes me right now) that when dipped in water, causes a reaction that makes the material heat up, then harden. I had never had that done before, so it was kind of fun. Those inserts are supposed to take 2-3 weeks to get back to me, and I had that done on Friday the 23rd. 

3. I went to the Hanger today and got my foot casted for a half-boot to wear on my left foot, that is supposed to keep my ankle immobile, so that there will be no pressure on my fluid filled vein/muscle/tendon whatever it is. For some reason, this casting will still take 2 weeks, even though they make them at Hanger, which is just around the corner from my house..... whatever. I just hope it actually helps. Because the cast is going to be ugly.

4. I QUIT MY JOB! And I am so happy that I did.  I was just tired of getting treated like shit for no reason (other than the fact that she hates me) So I talked to my actual boss and she was on my side, which was a surprise, because she likes to just stay on the sidelines and not get too involved, but she straight up told me, "If you want to end before the school years is over, I totally understand. It's up to you."  And I confronted She-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named and she of course was not hearing anything I was saying to her, but it doesn't matter because I got the real boss on my side, and OH YEAH, fuck you, i'm quitting. Haha, I really do feel better.

So now I am looking forward to maybe getting some better sleep now that I have more free time to get homework done, and just to sleep in some mornings.

Big Day

Wow, I suck at following through with what I said in my last blog. I have no been keeping up with my physical therapy.

But I can say now, that I feel like it is helping a lot with straightening my legs out and taking the pressure off the sore spot in my foot, but the actual spot is not improving.  I'm thinking that I might have to actually get the fluid drained out of my foot, which I would prefer, but then I would still have to work with my tendonitis. This is my last week of therapy, which is bittersweet. I go back to the doctor this coming Monday the 26th, so I will update then on what is happening.

Another big thing that is happening is I have been extremely sleep-deprived, for two weeks, and it is not a new thing. I have had issues with sleep since I was a freshman in high school.  I was supposed to get a sleep study done the night before my high school graduation, but the money fell through, so it did not happen.  But I had to go see a psychiatrist this Monday, and he prescribed me a sleep aid, and ordered me to get my thyroid checked, and it get a sleep study.

The medication thus far, has not helped at all, but it is a low dosage, and I am taking half a pill.  And my mom surpised me and took some initiative and called the OAK center about getting insoles for my shoes made, and about getting me the sleep study.  So I called today and I have an appointment this Friday at 10:30 to get my feet molded, but I think it will like around 2-3 weeks to actually get the insoles.  I also got an appointment for my sleep study, but there was not an opening until May 9th, but I'm on the cancellation list, so if someone cancels, I get moved up.  I wish so much that it would be sooner, like at least in April, but beggars cant be choosers.

I feel really bad physically, but I have a little bit of hope now that I have some things set in stone to improve my life.

I'm going to try to update tomorrow after my therapy.

Kind of lame, but I take comfort in Ryan Giggs. Yesterday while I was crying (I've been doing that a lot lately) I just used my Giggsy jersey as a pillow. Love him.